Conclamo Ludus: Giant Asian Carp

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Giant Asian Carp

I'm not really sure what the draw is. They say that it started in ancient China, was refined in Japan, and then sold to the US. No I am not talking about Pokemon, Fireworks, or Taoism. I am of course speaking of Koi.

Koi are gigantic multi-colored asian carp. Breeding Koi has long been an ancient hobby for some. The idea caught on in America more recently. While sitting around watching catfish bump naughties might not sound like a fun time, for Koi breeders it is a way of life. There are dozens of varieties of Koi from the black and orange speckled, to the creepy looking albinoes.

I remember a few years ago Cedar Point thought they would install a Koi pond. They must have cut a few corners because as I remember they just threw a bunch of catfish in an algae pond and called it an asian garden. The water looked straight out of New Orleans. You could put a quarter in a machine to throw food at them. Its been a few years since I was at Cedar Point but I am pretty sure that if the fish are still there, they are pissed. Its more likely that they grew legs and walked out.

I finally got to see a real Koi garden at the Embassy Suites - Biltmore in Phoenix last week. Inside the main lobby was an enormous network of waterways for the bizarre looking fish to navigate. They had signs properly marked not to throw food in for them. I took a few pictures. They grew to be the size of small Volkswagens and could swallow a small child. I asked the hotel manager what they feed these ridiculous creatures and he replied "unwanted pets mostly, neighborhood cats, stray dogs, I fed the albino one a live chicken once, but the feathers clogged up the fountain pumps."

The first picture gives you an idea of what these things look like. The second picture was taken moments after a toddler fell into the pond. He was pulled out just in time but look at the flurry of activity that it produced in this swarm of mindless killers.

For more about Koi check out the Koi USA website. I just recently found out that Madison has a crazy uncle that breeds these things. I hear there is good money in it. I also hear Domino Brooks is already working on breeding some in his bathtub. "Good Eatin'!" he claims.